You know, the thing about self-worth is just as it reads, SELF- worth. We hear it, we acknowledge it, and so often, we ignore it. We say oh yes self-worth is important, but then we continue living our lives in the most conditional way, looking to everyone and everything else to make us feel happy & good enough.
We feel like we are winning when we have all the boxes ticked, the job, the house, the relationship, the money, but then what happens when you lose your job all of a sudden? What happens when someone breaks up with you? What happens when life hits you in the face like a tonne of bricks (which happens FOR you by the way, but I’ll get into that later). We throw a tantrum. We think that our life is over. We hand over all our power and blame someone or something else, and worst of all duh duh duuhhhhh, we kiss our worthiness goodbye. Why? Because we gave it away. We carefully embedded our PRECIOUS worth in the relationship, in the job, in what other people think about us and then we wonder why it feels like the fucking end of the world when that thing is no longer propping up ourselves. Welcome, this is your moment of liberation. Once you establish your own self-worth regardless of what anyone else is doing or thinking, you are at your most powerful and all those things will naturally fall into place, because you realise that you deserve it.
Really though, was it fair of us to make someone or something else responsible for our worth in the first place? And WHY aren’t we taught this in school? Why aren’t we taught that we on our own, as we are right now in this moment, deserve and are worthy of everything beautiful that life has for us? WHY aren’t we taught that it is only US who can truly make ourselves feel worthy? Your best friend, what if she comes home from the worst day at work ever and is super snappy and rude with you. Can you disconnect your worth from her mood or do you make that about you?
Do you have a bigger context to put things into? My girl crush Viola Hug in her book You Are An Abundant Babe (get it) said something that I will never forget. Instead of thinking ‘everything happens for a reason’ think, ‘only good things happen to me. ‘
Now, don’t think I’m sitting here with my perfect life and no understanding. I recently got hit in the face with 18 bricks and then kicked in the stomach, and this is the most important time to seriously dig in your heels and step the fuck up and activate your faith. These things are not random, believe it or not, they are for us (by the way it makes it a lot easier to roll with it than resist.) And fuck me, it hurt BAD. This is not easy what I am asking of you, but then again you are a warrior. You know how I know? You wouldn’t be reading this otherwise, you wouldn’t be interested in personal development and self-worth. These moments are to help us grow, to expand, to move to the next level. The massive waves of self-awareness and insights and epiphanies that have come to me since this incident have been extraordinary and I can see so clearly how everything truly does work out for our highest good, even in the midst of it and not being given the next step yet.
However, it is up to us to stay in that vibe of belief and trust and faith as much as we can. Now, I also do want to acknowledge that feeling your feelings is the most courageous thing you can do. Cry, be angry, journal, make sense of things, get that shit out but don’t stay there. As soon as you can, pay attention to the magic that is around you right now, pay attention to those little signs and synchronicities that surround you, letting you know that you are on the right track. What about all the times things seemed so hopeless before but actually turned out to be the catalyst for the most amazing new thing to come in?
I digress. Self-worth is the real key here because once you take the pressure off everyone else, once you start to truly remember that your chance of being born is 1 in 400 trillion, that you are here for a reason and that RIGHT NOW, you have everything you need within you to absolutely smash your life, everything will change. When things go differently than you’d planned you say huh, something better must be coming rather than panicking and feeling like you’ve failed somehow.
I’m going to be making a video soon about how to seriously start having your own back & healing your own self-worth so stay tuned to my social media & Youtube channel or comment below and I’ll make sure you get to see it.
In the meantime, let me ask you something that popped into my head and confronted me recently. Wherever you are at, and with whatever you are struggling with, think about this. If you knew this was part of the process, would you resist it so hard?
All my love, and I am always here to help you, just reach out xx