“Monica, you know there are heaps of people who hate your photographs right?” A hell of a first impression to make there! He went on. “You need to get more haters. Let’s say 1 out of 10 people hate your photographs, that leaves 9/10. So, how many haters do you want?”
I say now a gazillion of course, but it is waaaaaay easier said than done. And, actually, I know that a LOT of you struggle with the same thing. We care way too much about what other people think, actually, we care more about what they think than what we think. We want their validation, their approval and for them to tell us that we are good enough. We think that when other people believe in us, we will too. When other people tell us that we are talented, then we will start to feel good enough. When we are skinnier we will feel beautiful and start putting ourselves out there, seeing a theme here?
Nothing external is the solution. You might think that when you cease being single you’ll feel happy, but you won’t. Everything you feel now will be intensified in a relationship, and actually, if we aren’t happy now on our own it isn’t really fair to put our happiness onto someone else is it? If you feel un-worthy, insecure, unattractive, all of that will be heightened in a sensitive situation like a relationship. You might think that the promotion and the added money will make you feel good but actually, you’ll feel the same only with more money. The truth is, we only want those things because of how we think we will feel when we get them.
It all starts with dun dun dunnnnnn our own self-worth. Are we looking to external things to make us feel better about ourselves? Or, are we grateful for the positive input and nice things that people say about us but actually we work at our self-worth on our own already so while it’s awesome to hear how amazing we are, we don’t require it. When our world gets rocked by a hater it might knock us for a second, but ultimately we know that haters gonna hate, potatoes gonna potate. So, we welcome the haters because we know that there are 9 more people behind them who are all about us & what we do.
If you are ready to seriously stop the beating up on yourself, the not feeling good enough, to let go of the fear and insecurity & things getting in the way, join Revive! It is a 7 week group coaching programme kicking off June 3rd, every Wednesday night for 7 weeks. Designed to fire you the F up. More info under the Coaching page above (click Revive) & check out the video testimonials from the last round! it will change your life if you let it.